Expert Article

Cooking Up Some Greens

A step-by-step cooking guide that'll teach you how to roll the perfect joint.

Reading time: 4 minutes, 20 seconds.

Ingredients:

1 Rolling paper

1 Grinder

1 Filter tip

0.32 Grams of weed

Ah yes, lé joint. A spliff. A doobie if you will.

Just the taste of its greenery can transcend your tastebuds and nerves into a realm of ultimate relaxation. However, such a small and delicate dish is not so easy to make. Many have tried, but only a few have succeeded in perfecting such a delicacy. And now, you will be part of the latter. 

Through reading this comprehensive recipe guide, your joint rolling skills will go from this:

To this:

Picking Papers

The process of rolling joints begins in the dispensary–or as I like to call it– a fancy supermarket for kush. Just like picking the perfect artisan bread to hold your sandwich, you must pick the perfect rolling paper to hold your weed. There are numerous sizes to choose from, as well as a variety of different materials. This stage is debatably the most important, as these few choices will ultimately impact the outcome of your creation.

Out of all the paper sizes available, “the classic 11/4 paper is the most popular option,” most likely because “its 76mm x 48mm dimensions are the exact same as a cigarette” (WayofLeaf, 2021). You may go as small as a single (68mm x 34mm) or as large as a king size (105mm x 60mm), but for this tutorial, we will just be sticking with our simple 11/4.

Now, the materials. You have your standard rice paper, but you can also start off your dish with a pop of taste by picking flavored papers, “like strawberry or watermelon.” For those with more of a fancier palette and a larger budget, you can purchase “gold papers.” You can even buy hemp papers. Rolling your marijuana in marijuana, ha! What a dream come true for cannabis connoisseurs.

Grind Time

What can a joint even be without its main ingredient? This part of the recipe is focused on grinding up the perfect amount of weed. Many may believe one joint is equal to one gram of kush, but that is a myth. In actuality, your average joint usually holds just a mere “0.32 grams” of weed inside (Chokshi, 2016). For you measuring mavericks out there, you can get a digital scale and measure this amount of cannabis for yourself. But for those with less of a precise cooking hand (like me), a little nugget will be just fine.

Of course, like the range of rolling papers available in the market, there is a plethora of different grinders to choose from as well. These devices help bring down weed nuggets to a more functional size so it’s easier to manipulate. Like rolling papers, there are a few sizes to look at depending on what your smoking habits are. For those with a smaller palette, a mini sized grinder would be perfect for your smoking escapades, with a size of “40-50mm in diameter” (Holman). On the opposite side of the spectrum, heavy cannabis users with a big appetite would love a “75-110mm” large sized grinder. And to get the best of both worlds, a medium sized grinder would be your best bet with a size range between “62-70mm.”

After choosing a grinder that suits your kush cravings, you can now begin to delicately grind your main ingredient into small bits, even a fine powder for those skilled enough in the kitchen. With all of this prep work handled, the real cooking can now begin.

Roll With It

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: how to actually roll your joint. AKA, the hard part of the recipe. Crack those fingers and loosen those wrists, because it’s time to put our hands to some intricate work. You’ll first want to get your filter tip, and fold it back and forth until it “has a ‘W’ shape with a circle around it on both ends” (Hoffman, 2019). Then pick up your rolling paper, gently place your tip at the end of it, and drop the 0.32 grams of cannabis you finely grinded right in the center of your baking sheet.

Making sure the shiny edge of the paper faces you, “pinch the rolling paper between your fingertips and roll it back and forth” (PureOasis, 2021). The purpose of this process is to make sure your weed is packed down to a perfect shape, like when pastry chefs knead their own handmade dough! Then, to finish your creation, “tuck your paper’s unglued part into the roll” until you reach the shiny edge, where you can then lick it and close it with a final seal of approval. Et voilà! You have yourself a perfectly rolled joint that you can enjoy for breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, or all of the above.

Puff and Pass

Congratulations! You are now a culinary expert in the fields of psychedelic greenery. With such power, comes great responsibility…and etiquette of course. Many chefs enjoy a solo sesh after their hard work, but for those that want to share their meal with others, they should do so properly. With that, I will leave you with some final tips on puffing and passing.

It’s mainly important to “pass in one direction, don’t skip people, and don’t forget to keep passing,” (Halperin, 2019). A smoking environment should be a chill, inclusive one, and everyone should have the equal opportunity to get baked with your baked goods. That being said, make sure that each person gets a turn within the circle. When it’s eventually your turn again, try to control your appetite and make sure to not excessively slobber on the tip; nobody likes a wet joint. Finally, don’t be afraid to decline an extra puff. You won’t suffer from a sore throat later, and the person after you can get another hit faster; it’s a win-win situation!

And if all else fails, and you’re too high to even remember anything from this recipe guide, I leave you with this– 0.32 grams of weed, is all you need, to guarantee, pure green ecstasy.

Sources

Chokshi, N. (July 14, 2016). How Much Weed Is in a Joint? Pot Experts Have a

    New

    Estimate.     The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/15/science/how-

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    rams%20per%20joint.

Halperin, A. (August 26, 2019). The New Rules of Cannabis: How to Pass the

    Joint

    and More.     The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/aug/25/pot-        

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    etiquette-lizzie-post. Hoffman, R. (August 21, 2019). Joint Filter: Learn How To Roll The Perfect

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    Filter.     https://herb.co/guides/how-to-roll-a-joint-filter/. Holman, E. (December 31, 2018). How to Choose a Grinder. HippieButler.        

    https://www.hippiebutler.com/how-to-choose-a-grinder/.

PureOasis. (January 21, 2021). How to Roll a Joint.         

    https://www.mypureoasis.com/how-to-roll-a-    

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WayofLeaf. (November 1, 2021). Best Rolling Papers for Marijuana.

    WayofLeaf.       

    https://wayofleaf.com/accessories/other/best-rolling-papers-for-weed.